The Vacation Brain Phenomenon

Ever go away for a few weeks and just go out and make friends the whole time you're gone?

Every time I go on vacation I enjoy making a few new friends from different parts of the country, or even the world. Some I just stay friends with for the course of the vacation, while some I choose to keep contact with long after the fun is over. It's nice to get to know people who grew up differently, and have different  aspirations, than yourself. You learn a lot about life by simply talking with other people. But to an extent, you get spoiled by getting to spend as much time with these people as you do. You'll never get to spend that much time with them again, unless you plan another vacation together. And the more emotionally attached you get to the people you meet when you're in that state of relaxation on your vacation, the worse off you'll be when you actually go back to your normal lives and try to keep in contact and visit each other.

Vacation Brain is a term I have defined as the person you become when you go off on vacation with people you don't know, and begin to form a relationship with these people, whether it be romantic or friendly.

• Everything seems easier with Vacation Brain.
• Everyone succumbs to the power of Vacation Brain whether or not they know it.
• It has lingering effects for sometimes weeks after a vacation has ended.
• As Vacation Brain wears off, you start to see things more clearly, and you rarely like what you see.
• People rarely are who they are portrayed by their "Vacation Brain selves".
• No one is as free or as serious as they try to be while under the effects of Vacation Brain.

Remember, Vacation Brain happens to all of us. The most important thing is to be practical once it wears off. Don't try to fight it or it will just get you even worse, just enjoy your vacation and the people you meet as your "Vacation Brain self" and then be honest and practical and don't expect to have your friendships and relationships go like they did on vacation. There is no way Vacation Brain can last forever.

My Funny Little Habits

I started noticing I do some interesting things, and have some strange habits. Most of them are pretty much funny.

I act like a dancer:
1. I stretch like I'm dancing.
2. I pose the second I stop moving.
3. My makeup is not to make me look prettier, it's more like a costume.
4. When in doubt; I pointe my toes.
5. I have to think about walking in a straight line, but if I spin around in circles I can travel down it.
6. I am Rice Crispies. Every part of me Snaps, Crackles and Pops.
7. Every time I hear music I either start counting it or seeing dance routines in my head.
8. I cannot focus without music.
9. My pointe shoes are my favorite pair of shoes in the world. They go everywhere I do, and they always have an outfit just for them.
10. Posture is everything. I sit and stand like I'm standing at the barre.
11. The world is just another place for me to dance in.
12. I burst into song and dance with only a moment's notice. And sometimes without...

I think like an artist:
1. My clothes are carefully calculated to give off a certain look. Generally vintage with a punk style edge.
2. I notice subtle nuances not everyone can.
3. The taste of good coffee, tea, spices and food are my favorite things to admire. There's always something new.
4. Music is everywhere around me, even when there's none on.
5. Everything is beautiful to me no matter how strange it may be to others.
6. I'm full of strong opinions about my own visual preferences.
7. I randomly rhyme...

I never slow down:
1. When I'm sitting, I'm stretching.
2. When I'm bored, I'm running or working out.
3. I've always got somewhere to be and someone to see.
4. I live my life like I'm on a stage dancing.
5. When in doubt, I dance it out.
6. Stress equals dance. But also, dance equals stress; which then equals more dance. It's a vicious circle...
7. If I'm still, I'm either sleeping or dead... Some part of me will always be moving.
8. When I try to sit still my muscles twitch until I start moving.
9. I'd try almost anything once. Might as well see what I like and what I don't...

I never shut up:
1. I can talk about anything.
2. I can talk until my face turns blue if it pleases you.
3. If I'm not talking, I'm singing or humming.
4. If I'm not talking, singing or humming, I'm either sleeping or dead...
5. I make random noises if it's too quiet, I do something strange, or I feel awkward.
6. I almost never make the same noise twice.
7. There is always a noise for every occasion.

I love to sleep:
1. There's nothing like a comfy bed for aching muscles.
2. Naps are the best.
3. There's never a wrong time to fall asleep cuddling a dog.
4. I could spend a whole day rolling around in my bed if I didn't have to eat and I didn't get bored with staying laying down all day.

I'm a lover not a fighter:
1. But if I care enough about it, I'll fight for it even if it kills me.
2. I won't hurt you, if you don't hurt me first.
3. I won't hurt a fly... unless it flies in my face. Then, I'll kill it. 

I act like I'm just one of the guys:
1. I burp in front of guys. You can either handle it or you can't...
2. I'm not afraid to make a mess when I eat.
3. I play sports, and I get dirty.
4. I play video games and shoot things.
5. ...until there's a bug... Then I'm a little girl. And I scream like it too...
6. I own almost every wearable item in a camouflage pattern and a hunters orange.
7. I love muscle cars and motorcycles.

This is Life

"This is life. People will screw you over. You’ll fight with your family. You’ll witness things that will change you forever. You’ll blame new lovers for things old lovers did. You’ll lose best friends you thought would always be there. You’ll come to realize that everyone has a past. You’ll cry, you’ll laugh, and you’ll embarrass yourself. But then, you’ll find your very own moment where none of that matters; where you can sit back and realize that stuff happens to the people who can handle it and that this is who you are, and that no one should want to change you, including yourself."

A friend of mine said this to me once...
And at the time I didn't believe them, but the more I think about it now the more I realize how right they are.
Strangers, friends and family alike will use you to get where they need to go and what they want. Co-workers and acquaintances, family and friends, will try to pull you down when you make one little mistake, but you have to keep from letting them get to you. You have to be yourself and keep holding yourself up and moving forward, one step at a time.

You won't always see eye-to-eye with your parents or your siblings, but you will never be able to stop loving them because they are blood. I say this because after almost a decade of hating each other and antagonizing each other, my mother and I finally turned over a new leaf and began a new chapter where we are now friends. We still have some work to do, as do my brother and I, but so far so good.

You will watch the news and see things you never thought you ever would, things you will never begin to understand, and they will shape the way you think forever. It will change the way you see the world, and the people in it in ways you cannot even begin to imagine. In my lifetime I've seen the fall of the Twin Towers, the aftermath of hurricanes and tsunamis, murder of innocent people in places like Sandy Hook, and now the bombing of the Boston Marathon. I have started to wonder why I even bother to pick up the newspaper or turn on the news anymore. It seems like all we ever hear about are the negative things in the world nowadays and it gives us the perspective that everything in the world has fallen into chaos. There would still be hope if just every once in a while the papers would release something with a positive spin to prove there is still good in the world.

You will fight with the ones you love and you will make mistakes, but most of all, the mistakes others make will shape how you see romantic relationships down the road. You will assume the worst because of something others did wrong before, and it will affect how you see others in your future. The people who wronged you in your past will make the others who slip up in the future seem like they have done much bigger things wrong than they really have.

The people in your life will come and go. They will do things you will love them for, and they will do things that you will hate them for. You never know why someone came into your life until after they leave, or until after you slam the door in their face. The people who hold you up when you are weak can only hold you so long unless you decide to start holding yourself up as well at some point.

Eventually you will find out that just like you, every single person on this planet has lived through a world of things. Everyone has, or will have, a time or two of weakness, a time of great strength, and a times of great sadness and of happiness. Everyone will have a time when the ends barely meet, when they can barely pay their own way, and they feel overwhelmed by the fact that they have so much more on their plate than they can handle. These are the times we feel like there aren't enough hours in a day, days in a week, weeks in a month, and months in a year to get all the things we want and need to do done. Some people, like myself now, work great under that pressure, but others, like my former self, get to a point where they have so much to do and not enough time to do it that they decide not to do any of it. And just like you, everyone has made mistakes...

Life is about having fun, so by all means, please laugh and go make a fool of yourself if it suits you every once in a while. The more you get out there the more fun you will have.

As for realizing everyone has a past, this was the biggest one for me personally. This portion of my friends words hit me particularly hard recently. After having met the guy every girl wishes she could find, I slowly found out that I was not the only person who had rebuilt myself, who had struggled to become what I was (the person he had become interested in).

The World is My Oyster

I decided that it might be a good time to give you a list of the most important things I want to accomplish in my life. Maybe some day I will go into more depth about it all.

I want to open my own restaurant.
I want to help teens who live a troubled life like I did to feel that they are safe and cared for.
I want to dance professionally.
I want to help other dancers who struggle with knee problems like me to achieve their dream of dancing professionally too.
I want to see the world.


"If the world is your oyster, you have the ability and the freedom to do anything or go anywhere. You're young and healthy and you've got no commitments, so the world is your oyster."

When Opportunity Knocks... You Had Better Get The Door

I got sort of used to my normal, boring old life. I would get up, go to class, do my homework, see my guy and my friends occasionally, go to bed and then repeat.
This was my life and I was perfectly okay with living in the monotony I had created for myself for the last six months. But, as I always do, I started to get restless.
I started to want more. I needed adventure and spontaneity. I needed mystery...

About three weeks ago I went on the best vacation of my life. I met the most amazing people only because of the fact that I was forcibly disconnected from my cellphone and the internet for a week (for which I have my family to thank). Suddenly, I found myself trying to do nothing more than pull from this new friends wealth of knowledge that was greater than my own. I'd never met someone with such motivation to do all the things he had done so far in such a little time.
 Spending time in this new setting and learning all the things I did, I started to notice a sort of attachment to it I was missing in my life. Seeing someone who wanted to just do anything and everything that came their way made me realize that the time is now. I should not keep putting off my desires and dreams in order to keep doing things to make my family happy with me. While their happiness is important, so is mine, and if I am not happy about something in my life then the time to change it is now.

So, now that the trip is over, I cannot help but keep thinking about all the amazing things we talked about. All the things he has done over the years, and all the things I intend to do in years to come. I decided that I was no longer going to sit around with my quiet life in my tiny room and do nothing worth mentioning anymore.

It is time for me to get out there and grab the bull by the horns...

I had been having trouble with my relationship before I left, but the tides had now changed completely. I spent so much time thinking about what to do, but it dawned on me about four days into my vacation that I am an entirely new person now, and I was not going to keep settling for someone who seemed perfectly okay with a life much like mine used to be.

I was not going to feel held back by anyone's lack of motivation.

I was going to get out there and throw myself at everything I wanted to do...
Full force and with no regrets... Just like my friend does.
No more fear of failure, because failure does not define me.
No more fear of judgement, because what people think of me is not always true.

Updates from the last year

I struggled pretty hard to find time to write and things to write about. My motivation sunk into a giant black hole of nothing-ness, but I have found it again. I know I've been gone for a long time, but I'm back rejuvenated and ready to go.
Within the last six months I have been focusing hard on what I want to do with my life and where I see myself in five years. While I haven't made much progress, other than deciding I want to do literally everything, I have discovered that I have an entrepreneur inside me who needs to be freed to do her bidding and her part to make this world a better, brighter place for the rest of the population. I hope I will keep up my promise to myself not to let anyone tell me who I am, what I am capable of, and where I belong in life. My career is my choice and I'm going to keep finding things to try until I'm doing what makes me happiest.
So I lost another guy or two along this road to finding myself and becoming a better me, but I think I know who I am and what I want to, and am supposed to, do with the rest of my life. I have no doubt that I might lose some more guys along the way, and this doesn't necessarily scare me anymore. It just means they weren't meant to join me on my road to glory.
More on my thoughts once the sun rises.
Yours truly, BNB