Lately I find myself falling more and more in touch with the part of me which laid dormant for most of the earlier years of my life. I find myself seeking to understand the past and what came from it, and trying to find myself based upon where I came from and the heritage in my blood. It has not necessarily been all the answers I have been looking for, nor have the answers I gotten necessarily been good ones, But they define who I am in a way because I know more about the culture I came from.
So about three books and two hours in a museum later, I came to the understanding that I can learn all of what I need to know about the life I would have lived before, but it does not necessarily make my life today what it would have been then. That is not to say that it does not shape my beliefs and the path I follow, because it does do that much, but there is no way to go back in time and experience things as they were back then, only to listen to the stories and try to imagine what was, and what will hopefully never be again in some cases.
I am happy to have found something in history that means enough to me to actually follow it and set aside the time to WANT to do it, rather than feeling like I have to in order to get by. I am proud of the fact that I can openly talk about something that mot many people can.
And I'm proud to be every bit of the little I am, Native American....
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